


colors

by pen15



Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Hyojin Has a Shitty Tuesday, Hyojin the House Painter, Like 5 Swamp Ass Jokes, M/M, Minor Injuries, Rich Boy Minkyun, Yuto Buys Hyojin Cake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25210285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pen15/pseuds/pen15
Summary: hyojin was a bitchass house painter, minkyun was a stupid rich music producer. can i make it any more obvious?hyo smelled like a skunk, minkyun used valets. what more can i say?
Relationships: Kim Hyojin/Park Minkyun | MK
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	colors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [voreizon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voreizon/gifts).



> surprise, bitch - bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
> 
> aye lmao it's me pen again 😆😅😂🤣
> 
> thought i'd give the tag a break from my kink writing to post some more funny fluff 😎👌
> 
> still working on kingdom tho  
> *waves to all the people hate reading this*
> 
> ANYWAY  
> enjoy this first chapter in what is probably gonna be like a 3 chapter lil fic.... almost 4k words here and the main characters? don't?? even meet??
> 
> is this what the kids call a slow burn? 
> 
> ...i'll see myself out  
> 🚶
> 
> oh shit wait how could i forget?! as always fangs again to @voreizon for helping me with this fic
> 
> we came up with this cute "hyojin is a house painter and it's hard cuz he's so liddol and has smal hands" concept during one of our silly afternoon chats. 
> 
> luv u bro 💓💖💞💘💗💝💕
> 
> well ok, 
> 
> !!! disclaimers !!! cuz some of u r mad dumb:
> 
> this is a work of FICTION. these are CHARACTERS i created LOOSELY based off of the celebrity PERSONAS of onf. i in no way think hyojin would wear stale pants and have chronic swamp ass. 
> 
> *moonwalks away*

9:45am—and hyojin had to be across the city for a job at 10.

"fuck!! shit...!!! PISS!!" the expletives soared out of his mouth, sleep dry and scratchy. it was the aircons fault; stupid wind from the thing always made him wake up feeling dryer than if he'd eaten a mouthfull of cinnamon.

he stumbled around the room; messy blond hair stuck to his forehead, half asleep and panicked, trying in vain to find his work pants. hyojin hadn't done the laundry in over a week which really wasn't like him at all. he was desperate for pants, but no fuckin way was he getting paint on the only pair of good jeans he owned. seungjoon would totally beat his ass if he messed up the nice calvin kleins he got him for christmas. 

hyojin pushed the hair out of his eyes and rubbed them, attempting to clear the fog of sleep so he could see. 

pants. he need pants. 

ahh… there they were. those motherfuckers. the ones from yesterday would have to do. he spied them underneath the bed, button glinting in the sunlight peeking through his blinds. 

must have been more tired than he had thought the night before. usually he didn't just kick his pants off after work and knock out, but it had been a particularly long day. hyojin had been hired to paint a spare room in a sweet old lady's house. easy peasy.

except that it wasn't easy or peasy.

the room was FILLED to the rafters with nicnacs. some in boxes, most just...chillin… collecting dust. 

oh and the dust. 

hyojin wasn't an asthmatic, but he sure fuckin felt like one being in that room. the air to dust ratio was at least 50/50. he had been hacking up dust bunnies like a cat with hairballs the entire drive home. 

but the old lady that hired him was an absolute darling… so he spent the better part of the day helping her pack the stuff carefully in boxes and moving it to the basement. she spent the day feeding him cookies and chatting his ear off, telling him cool stories from her youth and about her wife who she had just lost recently to cancer. 

that wasn't even his job, he was just hired to paint… but hyojin had always been a bit of a bleeding heart.

he fell over trying to shove both his legs into the pants as fast as possible. not only was he a bleeding heart, he was now a bleeding knee, as he had just bashed the stupid thing open on the sharp corner of his equally stupid metal bedframe. great. good. awesome. 

whoever said mondays were bad obviously never suffered from a particularly turdtastic tuesday.

he had both literally and figuratively woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. 

literally, the side nearest his old nemesis, the air con.  
figuratively, in the sense that no matter how much he rushed he was still going to be about a good 30 minutes late, and that was IF the traffic wasn't bad.

the traffic was bad.

hyojin sat in gridlock, hot sun beating down on his shitty little truck. no breeze. dead air. 

he was smart enough to grab a juice box on his way out, but not smart enough to grab more. it was now so hot inside his dinky old truck, that he quite literally feared all the water in his body would sweat out. he would be found dead, a shriveled mummified husk of a man. 

seungjoon would be pissed if he had to shoulder hyojin's half of the rent because his dumbass died in traffic from dehydration. here lies hyojin, should have grabbed a fuckin water bottle before he left for work. rip.

well he sure was going to make an impression on this new client. uhg, and the place was in the most upscale end of town too. he'd walk in; late, drenched in sweat, wearing yesterday's stale dusty pants, lookin' like a sunbaked dog turd… good. this is good. great even. 

his knuckles gripped tight over the wheel, flexing in tandem with the subtle rage that pulsed through him. hyojin poked at his archaic stereo, attempting to rouse it from the grave. the dumb thing had quit working last week and if he couldn't be fucked to fix the ac yet, he really couldn't be fucked to fix the radio. 

well he really could have been fucked to fix them– if he had the money... but he really didn't, not right now. 

he may or may not have gone stupid gone crazy and bought a pair of twelve hundred dollar nikes. sometimes you just had to treat yoself… he was having some serious buyers remorse right now though— as he sat slowly roasting to death in his tin can of a truck. 

in his defense, he didn't anticipate both his ac and his stereo breaking in the span of the same week. also the shoes were limited edition so like... priorities. 

hyojin was hardly ever reckless with his money, but the one time he was, of course it came back to bite him in the ass. speaking of ass, his was becoming a literal swamp in the heavy dark work jeans he wore. they were not breathable, they were the opposite of breathable. felt like his bottom half was in a sauna suit. juicy beads of sweat dropped down the backs of his knees and rolled into his socks. mmm. great.

by the time he made it to the location of the job he was just shy of an hour late. hyojin power walked across the fancy marble foyer, as fast as his little legs would take him, over to the reception desk. he was carrying a big fuck off bag filled with rollers, brushes, paint trays, and other paint paraphernalia. he probably looked deranged, but he was really just dehydrated– and determined to not be anymore late than he already was. 

"i'm here to do some work for…" hyojin looked down at his phone at the name yuto had texted him yesterday afternoon. "mr. park minkyun?" his voice rasped. god he sounded like he had just hacked an entire pack of cigarettes on the drive over. the receptionist eyed him wearily.

"you were his ten am appointment?" she spoke curtly, regarding hyojin with subtle distaste. 

he really didn't have time for this shit. he still had to make at least another two trips to his truck for the rest of his supplies. his truck that wouldn't fit in the underground parking meant for fancy sports cars. his truck that he had to park an entire block away. fuck he needed to get a new vehicle. hyojin was going to have to juggle a ladder, several cans of paint, and a big ol drop cloth at once if he wanted to bring all his stuff over in a couple of goes.

"yes, i'm sorry im running a little late..." hyojin flashed her a sheepish smile, hoping to disarm her curt behavior with his boyish charms.

it was unsuccessful.

"it's an hour after your scheduled arrival time–" she looked past him, almost through him, and motioned with her chin to a rather ostentatious clock on the opposite wall. "–and i'm afraid mr. park has stepped out for another appointment." 

she regarded him again with cool indifference, hands clasped together on the desk. the ac was frigid inside but hyojin was still sweating. "so you will have to wait until he returns to be let in."

fuck.

"alright...so should i just… wait here?" hyojin's arm was starting to get all pins and needles from carrying the excessive weight of his paint bag. he would set it down– but my god the floors were shiny. it would be a crime to put his old filthy bag on these floors. felt like he was pig pen from the peanuts cartoons. just a little ruddy poor boy surrounded by a cloud of dirt. they definitely would not let him sit on the nice white leather sectional sofa by the window. not with his swamp ass.

"no. you should not wait here." her hands moved to hover over the keyboard, eyes still regarding hyojin with the utmost apathy.

"give me your number, i can contact you when mr. park arrives."

he rhymed off his number for her as long manicured hands typed it out on the long manicured keyboard. 

"do you have any idea how long he will be?" hyojin shuffled uncomfortably, trying to shift some weight from his big ass bag so it didn't feel quite so much like his shoulder was being pulled from his body; like he was hooked up in one of those medieval tourture devices getting all stretched out.

"no." she stared him down, didn't even blink. man, rich people were scarry.

"....well... alright...i'll just …. go?" he backed away slowly, like he was retreating from a predator. kinda felt like it. he really did not belong there, and the people who did? well, they were only making it more obvious for him. hyojin felt small, and dirty… a little worthless. 

he deflated further at the idea of having to wait possibly several hours in the hot sun in his hot truck for some rich dude to come back and yell at him for being late.

the truck was right where he left it, not that hyojin thought anyone would steal it, just that he was hopping maybe they might. he had a low deductable on his insurance, he could probably get a decent cash payout for the stupid thing.

get him a car that had working ac, a stereo, and could fit in underground rich asshole parking garages. 

ahhh but he was kind of attached to the old ford. his boss, mr. lee, gave it to him a few years back when he started working for him. mr. lee was a good man, he treated hyojin and his co-workers like sons. probably because he lost his own at a young age. the truck used to belong to his son, so hyojin knew how much it meant to mr. lee. plus, he and this old truck, they had a history; hyojin wasn't gonna quit on it just yet. 

he was gonna quit on life though as he approached the drivers side door and spotted a ticket tucked under his windshield wiper. what the fuck? he could have sworn he put money in the parking meter.

turdtastic tuesday was an understatement.

turd tsunami tuesday was what this was shaping up to be... 

just a big ol shit storm.

"seungjoooooooon what are you doing right now?" hyojin sat with his head thrown back against the car seat, defeated, his hand weakly pressing the phone to his ear.

seungjoon's chipper voice rang out from the device, a familiar comfort. "just finished up morning dance class with the kiddos, was about to head over to the cafe for some coffee. why?"

"uhhhhggg" hyojin moaned, massaging his temple with his free hand. "i'm having a cake level crisis right now." 

"shit that bad? hyodinnie it's not even noon yet what's up?" 

"everything is up. fucked up. everything is fucked up. uhhgghhhgghh" he smooshed his face into the steering wheel, groaning in despair. 

the voice from the phone huffed and tutted. "ok chill out bro. text me your location, i'll head over, we can get cake."

hyojin sighed deeply, lifting his head from the wheel to regard his surroundings with displeasure. "i'm in the bougie part of the city for work right now, i cannot afford their cake."

seungjoon hummed thoughtfully "maybe if you didn't blow all your money on those ugly hypebeast shoes–"

"you DO NOT talk shit about my air jordans like that, they never did anything to you." hyojin sat up and pulled the device away to look at it angrily, as if it were actually seungjoon and he could actually see his glare.

"their mere presence in the hall closet offends me." seungjoon scoffed through the phone. hyojin could clearly see the other's affronted expression in his mind's eye. 

"your presence offends me." he spat childishly.

the voice teased further "you sound like a man who really doesn't want his best friend to come buy him overpriced cake."

"i stand by what i said." hyojin grumbled and rested his chin on the wheel.

"ok, have fun roasting to death cakeless and alone in rich bitch city! when you die, i'm going to wear your jordans like house slippers and crush the backs of them." seungjoon's evil laughter rang out from the tinny speaker. 

hyojin visibly recoiled from his words. "god you are such a monster, that's so sick. i KNOW you're only saying that to piss me off but i literally got sympathy pains. remind me again how we have been friends for 13 years?" 

"you couldn't function without me dude– hol up, i gotta go, new barista at the cafe is hot as fuck and im getting in on that."

"you are abandoning me in my darkest moment for ass?? what ever happened to bros before hoes?!?" 

"mmmm" seungjoon hummed thoughtfully "you're my bro, but you're also a hoe so it cancels out. double jeopardy or whatever. not my problem, byee~"

the line went dead.

fuckin' seungjoon.

yuto...maybe yuto would have sympathy for him. 

"hyojin hyung? what's up? how's the park job going?" yuto's bright voice beamed out of the phone. 

hyojin heaved a giant moroseful sigh "it's not going yuto. it's not going at all."

"little melodramatic but ok… i'll bite– why?"

hyojin took a deep breath."i was late and the receptionist at the building was mean and scary, and then, because i was late mr. park was already out… and now i'm penniless and alone in the city, literally boiling alive in my truck outside waiting for him to return from his appointment and let me up so i can actually get started." he sighed sadly again and started sniffling for dramatic effect. "this has been the worst morning ever." 

"...."

"yuto please tell me you are close… please tell me that you will save me from certain death and also buy me cake?"

"...."

"yutooooooo i'm so sad right now pleassseeeee." 

a little sigh rang out from the speaker on his phone "... alright but you owe me." 

"have i ever told you that you are my favorite friend?"

"we both know that's not true. you only called me because seungjoon probably bailed on you." yuto, always so blunt.

"seungjoon? ha ha!" hyojin chuckled "forget that guy, yuto is my new best friend now!"

"...."

"yu yu…" he put on his most sickeningly sweet baby voice "why won't you accept hyung's wuv?"

"i'll accept it ok, just… stop, jesus. meet me at the location i texted you and i'll buy you some fuckin cake."

they met up at a little hole in the wall bakery not very far from where hyojin was at. yuto knew all the best bakeries in any part of the city. he had a gift for finding artisan baked goods. a sixth sense for bread if you will.

"you're lucky i was in the neighborhood for work hyung." yuto walked over to a cozy booth nestled in the back corner of the shop, carrying his food and drink. 

"everyday i count my blessings yuto, and you are at the top of my list." 

"yeah. sure." yuto blushed ever so slightly at the comment though. he rolled his eyes and punched hyojin in the arm. 

"hey, why did mr. lee give you a job in this end of the city anyway? rich assholes are usually my speciality."

"i dunno, but i can tell you i have had one terrible fuckin tuesday" hyojin slumped down into the plush booth seat and quicky picked up his utensils.

"ok," yuto sat back in his chair, getting comfortable and motioned to hyojin with his hand "walk me through it hyung. what's made it so terrible?"

hyojin stuffed strawberry shortcake into his mouth and chewed it slowly, processing his thoughts. he swallowed the sugary lump down and took in a deep breath. "well for fuckin' starters i passed out last night under the aircon; and you know how i feel about sleeping under the aircon yuto" 

yuto nodded, he did know, hyojin seldom missed a chance to voice his distaste for the machine.

"i was just so goddamn tired after moving hundreds of dusty boxes down TWO flights of stairs yesterday for a sweet old lady… and she really was sweet yuto, she fed me cookies all day."

yuto nodded again, took a sip of his iced americano 

"so because i passed out i totally forgot to set my alarm… and then when i got up, i was already late and i couldn't find work pants, so i had to wear the same ones from yesterday, and they were all dusty and stanky" hyojin gestured to the aforementioned pants in distaste.

yuto nodded once more, bit off half of his croissant. chewing thoughtfully.

"and then i bashed my knee on my bed trying to get ready so fast... and seungjoon, that dick, he used the last of my fun one piece band-aids, so i had to use a regular one!" he grimaced when he remembered the moment of betrayal. couldn't believe seungjoon had stolen his band-aids. talk about adding insult to injury.

yuto kept nodding. he really was acting like a little bobble head, his cheeks stuffed with croissant. curly brown hair bouncing slightly with every tiny nod of acknowledgement he gave. he was cute, hyojin thought. it brought out a small smile on his face despite the fact he was in the middle of recounting the harrowing tale of this morning's events.

"and then you know how the ac in my truck quit working? and it's hot? well, i got stuck in gridlock for like an HOUR. an HOUR yuto!!" 

"that's tragic." yuto supplied, mouth hovering above his croissant.

"yeah it was torture 'cause now my bitchass stereo doesn't even work! and i skipped breakfast and i only had a little juice box. i thought i was actually going to die bro. i sweat so much–"

"you always sweat a lot." yuto hummed around his fancy french pastry.

"yeah but this was unreal, like my ass was a literal swamp!"

yuto lowered the croissant from his face with a look of disgust "dude im trying to eat here, spare me the swampy details of your ass please."

"sorry," hyojin took a sip of his vanilla frappe and continued "anyway by time i got there mr. park had already left and the receptionist was mean and told me to wait outside cuz i was too stinky to wait in the nice fancy foyer–"

"she actually said that?" yuto quirked an eyebrow at hyojin over the brim of his coffee cup.

"no she didn't actually call me stinky, but it was heavily implied" hyojin scoffed around another bite of cake.

"well you are a little stinky today hyung" the smaller man laughed at him, wrinkling his nose up and pinching it impishly. 

"hey i showered yesterday alright." hyojin did not add that it was in the morning yesterday when he had last showered, but yuto surmised as much from his slightly offensive odor.

hyojin's phone buzzed on the table. rattling the china and utensils around loudly, making them both jump.

he picked it up and looked at the message. "awe shit. he's back." 

hyojin shoveled the last of his dessert quickly into his mouth. "time to go get yelled at i guess." he mumbled grumpily around the mouthful of cake.

yuto rolled his eyes and gave him a solid clap on the shoulder. "there there hyung, it's already noon, they day is almost over, glass half empty" 

"isn't it glass half full?" hyojin swallowed thickly and took a big sip of his expensive iced milk beverage.

"if it's half empty it feels like there is less of it to spill when you inevitably knock it over." yuto stood and looked down at hyojin with a pleased little smirk.

"bruh. you are so wise. how do you do that?" hyojin stood up and draped an arm around his little friend's shoulder.

yuto shrugged it off and squirmed away from the sweaty embrace "you're only saying that 'cause i bought you cake."

hyojin scoffed "that's not true!... that's like 45% not true." 

"but it is partially true?" yuto raised an eyebrow at him as they made their way out of the coffee shop and into the street.

"you played to my obvious bias." hyojin pointed out matter of fact-ly. 

"you're so easily bought hyung."

"are you calling me cheap?!" he pouted at the other, eyebrows knitting together in a small glare.

"yes." 

yuto with his cat like reflexes, easily dodged the swing hyojin threw at him. and with that he was gone. took off at a sprint down the street; laughing like a devil away from what would have been the full force of hyojin's furry.

hyojin will remember this betrayal.

he climbed back into his truck and started the engine. guess it was time to finally meet mr. park minkyun. 

**Author's Note:**

> consider this fic my community service for all the fuse felonies i committed and will continue to commit in kingdom :3c
> 
> follow me on twt (if ur not a minor cuz i post nsfw) for drafts and other dumb shit!
> 
> @pen15b0n3r
> 
> as always, i care u fuses thanks for reading~
> 
> *blows kisses*
> 
> xoxo pen 💋❤️


End file.
